[He laughs a little, but yeah, he should've seen that coming. It just feels awkward to be more literal.]
No, I mean being closer to someone who wants good things for you. Being around people who want you to be safe and happy. Getting hugs. Things like that.
[Poor thing. He's going to keep thinking that for a very long time, but poor, poor thing. It feels good to be able to care, though. To be able to show it. Not only that, but to be willing to try because if he's honest with himself, it wasn't just his mission that had gotten in the way. Maybe Law taught him something without him realizing it.]
When I was about your age, I felt really alone, too. Someone took me in, though, and it changed my life. I don't want kids your age to have to go through what I did. We all need someone who's there for us.
[He's still hesitant to even mention it, but his one regret is that even Law, who he loved so much, didn't get to know a lot of things about him. Some of that is absolutely for the best, but there were little things he could have shared and now he'll never get to.]
[No wonder he's so nice, she thinks. He knows how scary things can be no matter how nice you are. She gets so mad when nothing's working out even when she tries so, so hard.]
Was that someone really nice? I hope they were nice.
[Things were hard. And he learned that very same lesson so quickly and so harshly. Being nice to other people does not mean they'll be nice in return. It's good to love others, but the love you receive in return is not necessarily a reflection of what you put out.
He strokes fingers lightly through her hair, and smiles a little.]
And he was. He gave me a safe place to live, and showed me I didn't have to be afraid anymore. I wish everyone could have someone like that. But I already know there are people here who can be that for you.
[People here, he says. Other people. And she wouldn't argue that fact. She's met so many kind and wonderful adults who she could imagine being her family. So many people who mean so many different things to her, already. She grows attached so fast. Too fast. Mary reaches up a small hand to curl it around one of his large fingers.]
[So that's a yes, but a cautious one. She's sweet, she's adorable, he wants to take care of her and help her grow into someone confident and kind, but he also wants to explore this place and take some risks that will not only keep them apart for periods of time, they're almost certain to be dangerous, and she's going to have to understand and accept that.]
I want you to have a lot of people who care about you, I'm just one of them, but I'm glad to be one.
[Finally, totally, Mary relaxes. Maybe she doesn't understand--of course she doesn't understand. People always leave, but it's not something that she can stop. Or it might not be something that anyone wants to make her go through in the first place. But what she does understand is that he's right here, and there are other people out there, too, so close. And she's been so happy, and she's felt less alone than she's ever felt in her whole life.]
I'm glad, too. Thank you for never being scared of me.
I couldn't be scared of you. You have a good heart. I believe in that.
[And he's in the fairly unique position of having spent a lot of time with some very frightening children. Mary is just one more, and he's determined to help her bring forth that goodness until it dominates whatever else is inside her that has grown out of fear and anger at the people in her past. Those people aren't here anymore. He doesn't discount their influence, but he believes she can grow past it.]
You know, if you're ever feeling overwhelmed or scared or alone, you can send me a message on that tablet. Even if I'm out helping other people, I can talk to you that way.
Okay! From now on...whenever something good happens, or maybe even something that makes me feel sad, I'll draw it and share it with you. And maybe that will make me less sad, because I turned the sadness into something pretty that we got to look at together!
[Thinking about it makes her practically kick her legs in excitement.]
[His smile is pretty? He blushes faintly as he laughs at the compliment. That's not something he gets often, if ever, these days - and coming from her, it's so genuine.]
I guess it did, huh. And if there's ever anything that makes you sad, I can talk about it with you. Maybe we can figure it out together.
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[It likely isn't what he means, but she's trying her best to understand what he's attempting to explain her.]
I don't have anything like that, I don't think.
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No, I mean being closer to someone who wants good things for you. Being around people who want you to be safe and happy. Getting hugs. Things like that.
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[Mary goes quiet for a moment.]
That's new, too. I read about it in books, though.
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When I was about your age, I felt really alone, too. Someone took me in, though, and it changed my life. I don't want kids your age to have to go through what I did. We all need someone who's there for us.
[He's still hesitant to even mention it, but his one regret is that even Law, who he loved so much, didn't get to know a lot of things about him. Some of that is absolutely for the best, but there were little things he could have shared and now he'll never get to.]
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[No wonder he's so nice, she thinks. He knows how scary things can be no matter how nice you are. She gets so mad when nothing's working out even when she tries so, so hard.]
Was that someone really nice? I hope they were nice.
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[Things were hard. And he learned that very same lesson so quickly and so harshly. Being nice to other people does not mean they'll be nice in return. It's good to love others, but the love you receive in return is not necessarily a reflection of what you put out.
He strokes fingers lightly through her hair, and smiles a little.]
And he was. He gave me a safe place to live, and showed me I didn't have to be afraid anymore. I wish everyone could have someone like that. But I already know there are people here who can be that for you.
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Do you think you could teach me things, too?
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[So that's a yes, but a cautious one. She's sweet, she's adorable, he wants to take care of her and help her grow into someone confident and kind, but he also wants to explore this place and take some risks that will not only keep them apart for periods of time, they're almost certain to be dangerous, and she's going to have to understand and accept that.]
I want you to have a lot of people who care about you, I'm just one of them, but I'm glad to be one.
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I'm glad, too. Thank you for never being scared of me.
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[And he's in the fairly unique position of having spent a lot of time with some very frightening children. Mary is just one more, and he's determined to help her bring forth that goodness until it dominates whatever else is inside her that has grown out of fear and anger at the people in her past. Those people aren't here anymore. He doesn't discount their influence, but he believes she can grow past it.]
You know, if you're ever feeling overwhelmed or scared or alone, you can send me a message on that tablet. Even if I'm out helping other people, I can talk to you that way.
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[Now she's excited!]
I'll send you pictures, too! Really pretty ones that can make you feel happy no matter where you are!
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Yeah! I'd love that. Send me pictures! I'd love to know what you're up to, or what you're drawing!
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[Thinking about it makes her practically kick her legs in excitement.]
Rosi, Rosi! Your pretty smile came back!
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I guess it did, huh. And if there's ever anything that makes you sad, I can talk about it with you. Maybe we can figure it out together.